If Only I Could Tell Him
by If You Get My Drift
Summary: Shigure wishes he could tell Kyo how he feels.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm an adult"

"He's 16"

"It would never work"

"What about Akito"

"This is wrong"

"I need to stop this"

All these things

Run through my head

At once every time I

Hold him

Touch him

See him

Smell him

_Think_ of him

I wish I could tell him 

How I feel

But…

He'd hate me

I'm 27

He's 16 

He'd call me disgusting

Perverted

Crazy

Well, I'm sorry, Kyo,

Sorry for loving you

But I can't help it

I love you

And I wouldn't stop this if I could

So now

Now you know that I love you, and that

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

Please forgive me.

Shigure Sohma

Signing off


	2. Chapter 2

What is this?

This feeling

I don't know how it started

Or when

Or _why_

That damn dog…

What happened between us?

What's different?!

I can't figure any of this out

It's maddening

The way he looks at me now

It's…

Different.

Tohru and the damn rat

Look like they know something

But what?

Shigure…

What's changed, you damn dog?

What the hell is different now?!

Kyo Sohma

Out of here


	3. Chapter 3

Something's happened

I can feel it

Shigure…

Looks at Kyo.

It's not like

He didn't before

But now…

His expression

His face

His manner

Around the Cat…

He seems content.

I know that Honda-san

Can see it, too

So, now

It looks like the Cat

Is the only one

The only one who can't tell

The only one who can't see

The only one who's truly dense enough

Not to notice

The Cat

The foolish, loud, rude Cat

Can't tell

Probably couldn't even understand

What's absolutely

_Completely_

Clear to us

He can't even tell

That Shigure loves him.

Yuki Sohma

Goodbye


	4. Chapter 4

Lately

Shigure-san has been…

Acting kindly

_Lovingly_, even

Towards Kyo-kun

It's really

A very wonderful thing to see.

I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but…

I think Shigure-san

Might

_Just might_

Be falling in love

With Kyo-kun.

Wouldn't that be…

_Just wonderful?_

The Cat-san

Loving the Dog-san?

Each in careful protection

Of the other's delicate heart?

I just know that if Mom were here,

She'd be so, _so_ happy

Just like I am

I am very happy.

Tohru Honda

Be safe!


	5. Chapter 5

I did it.

Don't ask me why

But I did it.

Yesterday…

It was like a…well,

No.

Not like a dream.

If this were

One of my dreams,

He wouldn't have—

He wouldn't have run.

He would have stayed

If this were a dream.

But…

He ran.

He ran from me

And left me there alone.

Alone.

That's how I feel now.

Without him,

I'm alone.

Forever.

Shigure Sohma

Signing off


	6. Chapter 6

He did something.

Who?

Do I have to say?

The Dog

It was him.

Yesterday…

It was like a…well,

No.

Not a nightmare.

If it were

One of my nightmares,

I wouldn't have had to think

About running away.

I would have fled

With not a second thought.

But for some reason…

I hesitated.

And I think…

I think he saw.

The Dog.

Shigure…

How odd to say his name.

He was always 'the idiot Dog'

Or 'the pervert'

But he's Shigure

Shigure's his name

And that's what he is

That's who he is to me.

Shigure…

Why did you kiss me?

Kyo Sohma

Out of here


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sure of it now.

Something is going on.

Damned if I know what

But it has to do with _them_

Both of them

Shigure and the Cat.

No…

Shigure and_ Kyo_

I shouldn't think of him as

Just the Cat

He's _Kyo_, too

It's the same for me.

I'm Yuki

Not just a Rat.

Shigure must be crazy

And really determined

If he's trying to get Kyo

To fall for him.

_Really_ determined.

Because _I…_

_I _have tried.

And _I _have failed.

So all I can do is wish you luck,

Shigure.

He's a difficult case, Kyo is.

Good luck.

Yuki Sohma

Goodbye


	8. Chapter 8

I saw something the other day.

I don't think

It was something I was supposed to see

So I haven't told anyone

Except Mom.

I always tell Mom.

I saw…

Shigure-san.

And Kyo-kun.

They were outside…

Shigure-san looked like he wanted

To say something

But instead,

He pulled Kyo-kun closer

Closer

Closer…

And kissed him.

And Kyo-kun ran.

He ran as fast as he could, I think.

And Shigure-san

He stood there

Like his world was crashing down in front of him.

Which, I suppose, it was…

Mine would.

But Kyo-kun

He ran, I think,

Because he was scared.

Scared of what could happen

If he were to stay.

He doesn't hate Shigure-san

He's just scared.

I wish I could comfort them…

But I wasn't supposed to see.

It's not my business.

But…still, I wish I could help.

I want them to be happy

But I'm not supposed to know.

Tohru Honda

Be safe!


End file.
